It’s been months since I have been on Tumblr. I wish I had kept up with it more, because these past couple of months have been quite a roller coaster ride in life. In particular yesterday full of emotions. Last night I couldn’t help but get teary eyed with the reality that I will be graduating in less than a month. Also, with the fact I finally received news for my future plans post college - teaching abroad in Spain! That process in itself has been quite a journey full of self-doubt, excitement, worry, and pushing myself outside my comfort zone. I have been stuck in a place where I imagine my life being a certain way, to feeling hesitant and worried if those plans will work out accordingly - but hey, that’s life. 

Regarding my placement within Spain, I have been refreshing my email everyday ever since I received the news of being accepted into the program. When I first found out, I was ecstatic and wanted to jump out of my seat and scream of excitement and maybe some tears, but alas I was in the middle of lecture where I was trying to compose myself and focus back into class… but that was a fail. I couldn’t concentrate at all the whole day afterwards. I immediately texted my family, and close friends of the news. I now have 10 days to confirm and decide…. The more I think about it, the more I have an overwhelming sense of disbelief that I am really doing this. When I look back, I would never have thought this was the path I would take after graduation. 

Everything is happening so fast around me, and I feel I want time to slow down. But, it has come with a form of acceptance that no matter what is down the road and what the future holds ahead of me, it will not slow down - especially from here on out. I recognize this feeling as many other fellow graduating seniors of college. Life will never have a pause, or rewind button. No matter if you are ready or not, everything with time keeps moving forward, and you need to brace yourself to whatever comes next with a mentality of acceptance and an open heart. I recognize my privilege of having the ability to decide the paths I take and the choices I make are my own.

I am someone who tries to avoid the “what if” circumstances and seeks out experiences that continue to make me grow as a person. 

I acknowledge that these next remaining months I have left in college - and more so in America - will be precious ones that I need to treasure and make the most of it all. This part of my life is one of the most transitional periods that I know reflecting back on, I only hope to grown more as a person and continue to take advantage of whatever opportunity comes my way. 

I hope I can continue writing on here because writing always eases my mind and allows a different form of expression that is therapeutic to me. But more so, I want to read this one day and reflect how far I have come from this point in my life. So to my future self and everything to come here on afterwards: best of luck! :’)

Fast blurb of experience before I forget… and KTFO right now from exhaustion… 

I feel really blessed this year to become more involved in health care and medical experiences, which is always continuing to fuel more and more passion in me. 

In particular, having opportunities to do clinical lab rotations this quarter. I just came back from an Emergency Department shift at UCIMC, and what an eye opening and different perspective it has brought me. I remember my first year I was fortunate to have the chance to volunteer for a little in the ED, and that was my first step at UCI into this world of medical and clinical experience. I remember seeing my first trauma as a GSW (gun shoot wound) and that was pretty intense. 

Now… fast forwarding to the summer before senior year, I was admitted into the ED as a patient after an accident. Long behold, I was taken care of by the doctor of now who I assist in clinical and transnational research throughout Public Health.

Thus, relevant of my full circle: Volunteer —> Patient —> Student Researcher. It’s humbling to see the Emergency Department from all those different perspectives.

I feel like this whole winter quarter, I have spent majority of my weekends in hospitals between CHOC and UCIMC with either internship, volunteering, or research. It would be nice if I could have my own bed like the doctors do over there just so communicating back and forth wouldn’t be a hassle.

Anyhow… I really should sleep. Going to “work” at Disneyland the whole day with around 100 overly excited internationals students and awesome co-workers. Haha, can’t complain though, who can say they get paid to go to Disneyland? lol 

#blessed 

howdoiputthisgently:

I’M LIKE:

AND THEY’RE LIKE:

^HAHAHA on point.